when insecurity grips you.
7.5.07 // 20:35

i just finished my white chocolate dream ice blended from coffee bean. and you know husi is very sad and lonely when she buys a drink there. sigh :( this is the second time in two weeks that i've bought something from coffee bean on the way home. if i continue to feel this way, i'm gonna be broke real soon. cuz drinking the ice blended from coffee bean somehow washes away my sorrows. :(

[rant about couples ahead. and for those who are attached and is one of my very close friends, i'm sorry and don't get offended please. i just need to get these things out of my system ): ]

today is a sucky day. and urgh, i hate them couples. all they do is go date after school and leave me alone like a pathetic little wimpy ass. why must everybody be UNavailable all at the same time? go meet friend, boyfriend, whatever. i understand if you're having a fever or something.. gah. this is so sucky.

and why is my luck so crappy? at one point, i'd get loadsa very good luck happening to me on top on another during the same day. like that time i got to know mr seductive eyes' name, then his friendster, and etc. but other times, like today, i'll get plain unlucky. first it was haini having fever, and i don't mind about it lah. then something cropped up last minute after i'd made plans to eat an early dinner with fad. and hira's got stomach cramps. in the end, i don't have anybody to eat with and had to go home feeling sad and lonely. :(

i don't understand why people need to meet their other half every single friggin day. don't they get sick of seeing too much of each other? ok, so maybe cuz i've not experienced all these shits yet, but it gets kinda irritating for your single friends. seriously, i don't geddit. pfft. i hate couples. :(

one more thing i've always wondered; why am i very close to ppl who are attached? this only magnifies what i don't have. :( and makes me feel lonelier than ever. (and at these times, being an only child sucks to the core of mother earth cuz at home u'd be by yourself as well.)

it seems like everybody's too busy with their own life to spend a bit of time with me :( and i feel like as if i'm invisible and not part of their exciting lives. am i asking too much? sigh. maybe cuz i'm too used to having full attention to me, being an only child and getting pampered and assured that everything's fine and dandy; but some doesn't even bother to reply my friggin sms, tho it only takes less than a minute to do so. what a luck i'm having. :( sigh. i dunno what's happening to my life. i AM busy with school, cca and stuffs, and i'm loving it. but i DO still have time to think about/spend with my now non-existent friends. i've always wondered whether they have forgotten about me since i never hear from them anymore.

gah, i hate it when this feeling of insecurity grips me. and its not getting any better. i need to go beach-ing. anyone?

and i miss nasarath soooooooooo much! :(